Dear Abby: The affair with a married trucker heads to a dead end
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a man who has been married for two and a half years. I know it’s wrong, but there’s just something between us. We live five hours apart, but he’s a trucker so I see him often. He makes all these promises to me – that if I uproot my life and move to his town, he could be more with me, his wife is sick and he can’t leave her like that, and he never loved anyone. ‘a the way he loves me. We also have a 30-year age difference.
I love it but I see so many red flags. Does he really love me, or am I just the icing on his cake? Please give me advice because I am really lost. I don’t know if I’m wasting my life for a man who can’t really promise me anything. – ON THE CTÉ IN INDIANA
DEAR ON TEC: Pay attention to those red flags you see. Your last sentence says it all. You might love this man, but you’ve already spent 2.5 years in a relationship that leads nowhere. I’m willing to bet that he not only loved women ‘like he loves you’ but that when you start to take care of yourself and end this comedy he will continue to love MORE women like him. love. Try this: Imagine for a moment that you were his wife – would you want a husband who sleeps while he is on the road or while you are not feeling well? But for the grace of God, it could be YOU!
DEAR ABBY: My adult daughter and I had a big argument while she was visiting me. Unfortunately, we both used hurtful words. Afterwards, I wrote him a note to tell him that I loved him and that I would like to hear from him. She replied in an email that she had received my letter, but she is still hurt by the things I said.
I wanted to be the adult in this situation, but I was also hurt by his words and actions, and I feel angry that I have to be the one to apologize. I told him that I hope we can put this behind us. Do I have to apologize even though I told her I’m sorry she’s still hurt? – INJURED IN OHIO
DEAR WOUNDED: I don’t see anything positive to be gained by letting this fester any longer. You ARE the parent in this situation, so if you want a resolution, apologize again.
DEAR ABBY: I am a florist. Could you please ask your readers who write obituaries for your loved ones to think about before adding “instead of flowers…” People can then donate to designated or preferred organizations OR buy flowers. The choice would be theirs. It would be a blessing for flower growers, truckers, wholesalers and people like me. Many of our businesses are small, multigenerational establishments. A possible wording suggestion is: “Flowers are welcome, and those who wish to donate on her behalf can do so at _____”. Thanks, Abby. – OWNER OF THE GRANT MOM / POP FLOWER STORE
DEAR RECOGNIZING: While grieving families may forget to include it in their loved ones’ obituaries, as our economy slowly recovers, your suggestion is certainly worth noting. Thanks for sending it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.